How To Motivate Your Child To Play With You

PAIR TOGETHER
The initial step of pairing with your child sets the stage for turning playtime into a valuable learning experience. Pairing is the process by which your child starts to associate your presence as an important factor, to have a positive experience in play. Remain in control of your child’s known preferred toys. Continuously offer them to your child for free without placing any demands. Surprise your child with new fun ideas too! By creating an enjoyable experience, you will also build a strong bond with your child that encourages them to actively engage in play with you.

LOW EFFORT PLAY

This step is also a part of the pairing process where your focus is on having fun, and not teaching - yet. Keep the playtime light and fun by not overloading with instructions or questions like “Do this”, "stand up", "sit down and save those "WH" questions (“what’s that, who is that”) for later, as even easy tasks can feel like a workout. So, use them sparingly in the beginning and let the fun flow! You’ll be surprised how much learning will come out of just having fun. Instead watch and comment on your child’s play (e.g. “the book has a dinosaur”, “the ball is going so fast"). Show your child you are interested in what they are doing through your body language- sitting closer, nodding, smiling naturally, and that you are not there to interrupt their play. 

When introducing new activities that might be challenging for your child, join in the fun and show them how it's done - be helpful and model actions (i.e. opening containers, giving materials) during play, your child starts valuing your presence, as you become an important play partner in helping them reach their goals. This not only strengthens your connection but also adds an extra dose of fun to playtime.

ASSESS YOUR CHILD’S PLAY STYLE AND MOTIVATION REGULARLY

This step is crucial to maintain the enjoyment of play. Pay attention to their reactions during different activities. Do they enjoy social interactions (i.e. seek praise, imitate play or enjoy turn-taking), physical or active play (i.e. they are full of energy and love moving around), or sensory play (i.e. they have a strong interest in exploring different sensory experiences like touch, smell, taste, sound and sight)? Be as creative as you can to explore different play types.

GAME IDEAS

SOCIAL PLAY: Tickle games, peek-a-boo, building blocks, pretend play, art & craft

PHYSICAL PLAY: Jumping on a trampoline, running race, bouncing on a ball

SENSORY PLAY: Sand play, water play, electronic toys, playdough

Communication and active engagement with your child can help you better understand their personal interests and support overall development. Keep in mind that non-verbal cues, such as body language and facial expressions, also play a significant role in understanding a child's level of interest in playing. Below are some suggestions on what speech, tonality and body language to look out for to understand level of interest.

 By paying attention to these vocal and non-vocal cues, you can better understand your child's level of motivation and adjust play accordingly to keep it enjoyable for them.

ENSURE MOTIVATION:

We understand that sometimes it can be challenging to keep your child motivated, especially if they've grown tired of their favorite toy or activity. However, there are effective strategies to reignite their enthusiasm. Here are some suggestions to maintain your child's motivation for their most cherished items, like their favorite car, book, or instrument.  

Maintain a Balance. Strive to strike a balance when it comes to how long your child has access to their favorite toy. Allowing access to favorite toys/activities for an extended period of time, might make them bored of it; but you also don't want to keep it away for too long, as it could lead to frustration or waning of interest. For example, when you place a toy or activity within your child's sight but out of reach, it keeps the toy special because they don't have it all the time- As an added benefit, this can also prompt them to request for the toy, which is great for boosting their language skills.  

Provide options. Offer your child two or more toys or activity choices to play with. This lets them feel in control and engaged & also expands their interests - you will never know what else your child enjoys unless you expose them to it! 

Join in the Fun: For some children, it might be especially difficult to engage in social play or attempt new activities. Their attention may easily shift from interacting with people to stereotypical play (e.g. fixating on car wheels, spinning on chair). If your child enjoys toys that have interesting physical or sensory components (e.g. pom poms, maracas, wind-up toys) but they are not engaging with these toys socially, you may have to find creative ways to join in the fun. Be enthusiastic and playful. Use your facial expressions, body movement and positioning to make your presence obvious; go a bit overboard if need be. Your involvement adds an extra layer of joy to their playtime and helps to keep their enjoyment going strong. As a final resort it might help to rearrange their surroundings in a way that maximizes their opportunity to approach something or someone else. For instance, if your child prefers to repeatedly line up cars, and does not play with you, you might consider putting the car away for a short while to allow them to explore new toys and activities.

A BONUS TIP JUST FOR YOU!

Reward. Reward. Reward

Celebrate your child's achievements in language development, task completion, and good behavior by offering lots of praise and granting them access to their beloved toys and activities. This positive reinforcement not only nurtures their growth but also adds an element of enjoyment to their learning experience.

Watch the role-play video below to see some of the tips in action!